Talks of rebirth and salvation. The destruction of man and their culpability.
Besides a brief stint about fasting, the book of Isaiah begins to repeat itself with the same old smotings and threats. But one verse (or rather, one part of one verse) spoke to me:
Whom have you so dreaded and feared
that you have not been true to me,
and have neither remembered me
nor taken this to heart?
Isaiah 57:11a (NIV)
This seems to be a statement of bitterness, akin to “don’t you remember what I have done for you? Why then do you reject and forget me?” This is an odd thing to read, especially considering the flux nature of some of my closest familial relationships. My parents never said this, but I also felt as if my choice to embolden my sexuality (and start this blog) was construed as a rebellion against not only God, but also them. A rejection of their values. And look at all we have given you, they thought. How could you do this to us?
Let’s widen a bit, though, and consider the grander implication. If God created us, breathing life into us as a master necromancer, then He has truly bestowed one helluva significant gift: to live rather than to idle. And then, if He truly does love us, then He is doubling-down on His risk – He is setting Himself up for the possibility that now we will act in a way that will reject His love. And if we then do reject that love, if we ignore His stipulations and behave selfishly, then frankly, we are a bunch of jerks. We are openly rebelling against the Being that is solely responsible for our existence – how arrogant is that?
But the problem arises in the faith question. If you are to believe in God, then you must acknowledge the dilemma that He has placed at all of our feet. Through fossil records and scientific theories and not-so-theories (facts), we are constantly bombarded with a scrolling counterpoint argument of the biblical claims. The Earth was not created in 8,000 years ago! We are evolved beings and we can prove it! These are FACTS! If God inspired the Bible, then why did He allow for scientific understanding to so clearly contradict its claims?
I am not asking devout Christians to defend their belief that science is wrong and the biblical account of creation is correct. I simply want some empathy for thinking hey… that doesn’t really add up in my head. And then when I try to mix the two, when I try to adapt what I read to what I see and know to be true, I am met with shouts of disbelief and rebellion. How dare you say anything contradicting what you KNOW to be true. I want to scream back, I don’t KNOW it to be true, I was TAUGHT it to be true.
I don’t want any more biblical signs or wanders. I have no interest in testing the existence of God with a jilted promise. I just want a bit silence and reflection. And during the time, shouts of condemnation should be waiting outside.